The anatomy of a "Cool Dude"

Cool Dude - The most used word in a day.
One who can do things which we cannot do - is termed a "cool dude". Be it growing hair, or not growing hair, tattooing, speaking four letter words, smoking ultra milds or menthol, going all the way to Bangalore for a rock band maiden concert, or laughing amidst a group of dozen girls. The word has become the most used word in the group of people (folks - to sound cool) I move with, to such an extent that every other conversation ultimately comes to the same thing "Dude, you are becoming cool".

Be it when my office moved to a cool, vibrant IT park (And I became a Parkite), when I applied a temporary tattoo on my forearms, when I got a wireless internet connection, when I browse internet on my mobile, when I insist on wearing socks before putting on the Sandals - All I could hear is "Dude, you are becoming cool!"
So I assume, by now the reader has got an idea of what a Cool Dude is, rather what an Item he is!

Some random notes:
Q. What do Dudes do in Office?
A: The do stuff. Not work. Remember "I need to get this stuff done" ?

Q: What do dudes have for lunch?
A: They grab a Sub. And remember A dude would always "customize his sub".

The sub topic reminds me of a very crude (the most closest antonym of cool) incident at the Sub. During one of those initial visits to Sub, I had taken a friend along with me, thinking he would be a moral support to me at the cool shop (cool joint to sound cool).
The friend whom I had taken along, had once tasted garlic bread that someone in office had ordered from Pizza Hut. After finishing the bread, seeing the label Pizza Hut written on the sauce packets, he commented - "The Pizza was good". This after being in the IT industry for 7 years!
So it was just uncool of me to take him with me for moral support. Since we were two, we had the courage to face the questions shot at us. Yes, too many questions for having a sandwich. Oh not sandwich - It's a Sub. With great difficulty, we were able to get something made though we still do not know what we had answered for questions like 6 inch or foot long? , Type of bread, should i toast it?, with cheese /without cheese? , All vegetables? etc. All we could see is something had been made for both of us. And soon we are going to eat the cool sub. And then a question. "Do you want to make it a meal?" I asked my friend "Acha yahan meals bhi milta hai kya"? I did not see the "Meals Ready" board outside. All eyes on me. My friend did not have an answer.
Then came the final question. With the gesture and tone, we could make out that this is the final question and soon we can start eating. But what he asked was too fast and unheard of. He repeated it. Still no change in his reaction. Again the question with a demeaning look at us. Finally we answer - "Yes". And he gives a much demeaning look, in fact something like - These people can never grow up. Then he gave us the bill and the Sub - both the subs in the same plate (Tray to be cool).
And then My friend says aloud "Donon sandwich parcel kar do yaar". All faces in the restaurants were on us. All the Sub makers at the counter saw him. My friend was stunned. He was trying to think what he spoke. He was saying to himself "Did I use any abusive language?". Soon the person on the other side of the counter, said in a slightly louder tone, "That's what i asked you. You could have said you wanted Take-Away". So that is what he was asking towards the end of the Sub making process.
All this when the person who made the sub also knows the local language or atleast common english - The kind of English that we have been listening to, since our childhood. But if he does that then whats cool about Sub? Or rather what so cool if even in the mid of his sleep a dude can say whats the Sub of the day.

Q: Where do Dudes go for snacks?
A: CCD, MacDee

Q: What do dudes do on weekends?
A: They groove and dance around in the disc by just shaking their head or grooving their hip. Whereas all we go to the Pub is to drink. And talk about Deva's latest gana song inside the pub.

Few days back, I had a conversation with a cool dude during one of those bus journeys to Pune. After talking for a while, I could make out that he is a Tamilian. So to confirm my speculation, I asked him "Where are you from?". With a bit of restaint, he said - "I am from Madras (pronouncing it the non-native way), but I currently stay in Pune." This was followed by the information that next month he would be going to... (some place in USA, later on he said it was in the Valley). The valley part of the answer was the most stressed one. My further questions in Tamil were answered back in English and not so fluent Hindi. And I could notice, he was so uncomfortable talking about Madras, or even Pune. They find it demeaning to answer questions like Which part of India they belong to. They do not like to be geographically identified (unless of course, it's the valley)
Yes cool dudes are Global Indians - or may be Global citizens.

One good thing about dudes is that they do not care much for what others think. Their actions are not dependent on their surroundings. Rather, "They give a damn.." Yes, thats how they say it.
Another interesting aspect that me and my fellow dude observers noticed, is on the dude's blogging pattern. Most of the times, the title of the post will have twice as many words as the content, combined together can be less than 10 words. Probably Cool dudes can express in few words.

Recently on one of those try-to-be-cool acts from me, a friend of mine asked me If I would give him a treat if I am ever successful in turning cool. And when I said I would rather give a party to all, he says - "No dude, Dudes do not give or host a party. They throw a party."

To be continued..

Postscript: There has been a radical change in my thoughts and actions ever since I came in terms with Sub making process. As I write this post, the coolness factor has increased so much in me and a crude friend of mine [His first Sub was here] , that we can now make world class Sub at home. Yes, we will customize it for you. Honey Mustard or Southwest, Italian bread or honey oat, Jalapeño or Lettuce.. Not just a Sub, a salad too. And if you are not much bothered about the calorie intake (as against dudes), we can make it a meal.